"You dont frighten us English pig dogs, go and boil your bottoms you sons of a silly person."
"I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
Now, go away, or I shall taunt you a second time-a!"
Custom-designed beechwood board, 2 dice catapults, 21 meeples (20 human, 1 bovine), 4 dice, 1 doubling cube, 30 checkers, and rules for THREE games.
1 -Fetchez la Vache!A madcap backgammon-based game that pits two teams against each other in a race to capture a cow and leave the field with it alive, all while dodging catapulted farm animals and scathing insults French taunts. (Note: this activity requires theMonty Pythons Cocurricular Mediaeval Reenactment Programmecore book.)
2 -Squashez l'Anglaise!Flip the board over and let fly with this point-based, historically accurate, terribly violent castle-siege simulator.
3 Backgammon!A fully functional backgammon board (for those who wish to appear smarter than people who play checkers but cant be arsed with chess).